Cultivating the Skill of Emotional Intelligence - PART 2: RECOGNISING YOUR OWN EMOTIONS

 CHAPTER TWO
RECOGNISING YOUR OWN EMOTIONS

Every day, we are stirred by a spectrum of emotions. Some are fleeting, others are intense and linger. The trigger could come from a conversation in a hallway, a deadline moved forward or even a compliment from a stranger. Amazingly, each of these moments quietly shape our emotional landscape.


 

Yet, many move through these daily fluctuations without truly noticing them. We respond, we react, we speak, we withdraw and often without questioning why. 

But why should you ask why? Because, recognising your emotions is not just a matter of being in touch with your feelings; it is a gateway to mastering your inner world.

At the heart of emotional intelligence lies self-awareness which is the steady internal radar that picks up signals about our mood, our motives, and our mental state. It’s not a dramatic revelation but a gentle, consistent process of observation. The more you tune in, the more equipped you become to direct your emotional energy intentionally rather than impulsively.

This is a 5 part module broken down into 5 posts. So make sure you read all of the interesting stuffs here. READ PART 1 HERE

PS: This is not your regular lecture. We would provide relatable examples that are useful and practical.

What Is The Power of Self-Awareness?

Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of your emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. It goes beyond simply feeling angry or excited. It is an invitation to you to pause and ask, Where is this coming from? What is this emotion trying to tell me? This process allows you to recognise the gap between impulse and action.

If you are in Nigeria, your demography by default of geography and location, already requires extra measures to ensure you are not called to glory before your time 😂.  When someone cuts in front of you in traffic, the jolt of irritation is immediate. But self-awareness steps in as the internal pause button. It notices the rise in your chest, the tightening of your grip on the wheel, the voice preparing a sharp retort or your palms getting ready to send a hi five which never means a high five. 

It is self-awareness that allows you instead of unleashing that reaction, to reexamine whether the emotion serves any useful outcome in that moment. That decision of whether to react or not, is the beginning of emotional maturity 👌.

Another corner is interpersonal relationships whether with a partner, siblings or workplace colleagues. Man is a social being and one of the most social part of our being is conversations. In conversations, self-awareness helps you detect when your tone shifts from cooperative to defensive. It alerts you when you're becoming sarcastic, even if your words remain polite. 

Self-awareness is the gentle tap on the shoulder when you're laughing in a room but feeling strangely out of place inside. It sharpens your inner lens, helping you see not just how others perceive you, but how your own emotional undercurrents shape your presence in the world.

This inner clarity is foundational. Without it, we are often just responding blindly, driven by emotional waves we don’t recognise, mislabel, or ignore.

Practical Tools for Developing Self-Awareness

Building self-awareness is not about overnight transformation. It's a practice that is quiet, consistent, and immensely personal. Here are some tools that help nurture this vital skill.

Journaling

There is power in writing down what you feel. At the end of a long day, recording your experiences and the emotions tied to them gives structure to what often feels abstract. When you write, “I felt dismissed during that meeting,” you move from vague discomfort to specific insight. Patterns begin to emerge. You may realise that feeling overlooked is a recurring trigger ant not necessarily because others are always ignoring you, but because that particular fear is deeply rooted in your sense of worth.

Journaling is not about literary or high-sounding grammatical genius it is just self-expression. Even a few sentences can illuminate the inner shadows. Over time, it then becomes a mirror that helps you recognise repeated reactions, unresolved tensions, and emotional victories.

Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness is the act of being present without judgment. Sitting with your thoughts not to fix them, but to notice them/ This cultivates an extraordinary awareness. In silence, you begin to observe emotions as they rise and fall, much like waves at the shore. One moment you’re frustrated, the next you're curious. The breath becomes your anchor. Thoughts and feelings pass by like clouds. Instead of being swept up in every emotional gust, you learn to stay grounded and responsive.

This practice sharpens your ability to catch the earliest signs of emotional activation. You begin to notice when anxiety enters your body perhaps as tightness in the chest or restlessness in the hands before it escalates. And in noticing, you give yourself a choice: to stay present or to spiral.

Emotion Tracking Apps

In a digitally driven world, technology offers quiet companions for self-awareness. Applications like Moodnotes, Daylio, or Reflectly allow you to log how you feel throughout the day. With regular use, you begin to build a visual and descriptive map of your emotional rhythm. You may discover that your optimism peaks mid-morning, dips after long meetings, or crumbles during certain social settings. Such insights guide smarter scheduling, deeper self-compassion, and even better boundaries.

Tracking emotions also encourages language precision. Instead of just feeling “bad,” you start to identify if it's guilt, shame, sadness, or fatigue. And naming an emotion is the first step to managing it. You cannot change what you cannot name.

Reading Your Inner Dashboard

Inside every individual is a complex control panel 😊. Emotions are the signals lighting up the board. When ignored, small warnings can spiral into bigger malfunctions. That is why you would notice that just a low mood unattended to may spill into conflict with others. An unacknowledged hurt from your best friend can become passive aggression or silent withdrawal. A persistent worry, left unchecked, can manifest as physical illness.

Therefore, reading your own internal dashboard requires attention. You will then begin to detect subtle cues: like the heaviness in your voice when you're disappointed, the fake brightness you use when you're pretending everything is fine, the tight smile that hides frustration. These are not faults, they are data. And like any intelligent system, your emotional circuitry improves with accurate inputs and intentional adjustments.

The Emotional Mirror in Everyday Life

Every environment we enter reflects something back at us. A team meeting may highlight our need for recognition. A tough review from an academic journal may expose perfectionist tendencies. A friend’s silence might stir a childhood fear of abandonment. These are emotional reflections that are like mirrors held up by life. Those who engage with them gain wisdom. Those who avoid them often find themselves repeating emotional loops without knowing why.

You would realise that your emotions are less like enemies and more like guides by just tuning in. Anger may point to a violated value. Joy may reveal alignment. Sadness may signal the need to release. And confusion may simply mean that something doesn’t make sense. At least not just yet.

Conclusion

I hope you now understand that your own emotions is not about obsessing over feelings or analysing every mood. It’s about developing an intelligent awareness of what’s happening inside you, moment by moment. Self-awareness gives you the power to pause, to reflect, and to choose your next step rather than being swept away by habit or impulse.

As you cultivate this skill, you'll find your relationships deepen, your communication becomes clearer, and your decisions grow wiser. Self-awareness is not a soft or vague trait; it is the architecture of emotional resilience, the gateway to personal growth, and the quiet strength behind every effective leader, thinker, and communicator.

Now that you have learned this, here is a fun assessment to help you recall your mastery:

  • What emotions do you feel most frequently, and what usually triggers them?

  • Think of a recent emotional reaction you regret. What was the trigger?

  • What activities or settings bring out the best version of you?

  • What does your emotional dashboard look like today?


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