Cultivating the Skill of Emotional Intelligence - Part 1: UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ)

CHAPTER ONE
UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ)



“In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.”

— Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ


Introduction

In the shifting dynamics of the 21st-century workplace, academic institutions, and leadership environments, a remarkable truth has surfaced: technical expertise and cognitive intelligence (IQ) alone are no longer sufficient for success. Increasingly, emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage, and handle emotions. This has become a defining factor for personal and professional excellence. Whether you're a postgraduate researcher navigating the stress of deadlines, a manager leading a diverse team, or an undergraduate preparing for the job market, emotional intelligence holds the key to navigating life’s relational and psychological complexities with grace and effectiveness.

This is a 5 part module broken down into 5 posts. So make sure you read all of the interesting stuffs here.
PS: This is not your regular lecture. We would provide relatable examples that are useful and practical.

In this post, we explore the meaning, significance, and framework of emotional intelligence, drawing from psychology, education, business, medicine, and even diplomacy to show its relevance across diverse fields. Through relatable analogies and grounded examples, we will uncover how emotional intelligence is not merely about "being nice", but rather a strategic asset—an internal compass that sharpens your judgment, deepens your relationships, and enhances your ability to thrive.

Defining Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) refers to the ability to accurately identify, understand, and manage your emotions as well as the emotions of others. The concept, first introduced by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer (1990), was later popularised by Daniel Goleman in his bestselling book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (1995). Goleman argued that EQ is a better predictor of success in life than traditional measures of intelligence.

EQ is not about ignoring or suppressing feelings. Instead, it is about harnessing emotions as data signals that inform your decisions, improve your interpersonal relationships, and increase your psychological resilience.

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters in Today's World

The modern world is characterised by constant change, technological disruption, and an increasing emphasis on collaboration and creativity. In such a context, emotional intelligence has become essential for more reasons than we can list below:

  1. Workplace Effectiveness: Employees with high EQ are better at teamwork, conflict resolution, leadership, and adaptability. For example, a manager who senses tension during a meeting can pivot the conversation to reduce defensiveness and encourage constructive input.

  2. Academic Performance: Research shows that students with higher emotional intelligence experience lower levels of test anxiety and are more successful in group-based projects, where social interaction and mutual understanding are key.

  3. Leadership and Influence: Emotionally intelligent leaders inspire loyalty, handle stress with poise, and create environments that empower others to succeed.

  4. Mental Health and Wellbeing: Emotional regulation, a core element of EQ, reduces susceptibility to stress, anxiety, and emotional burnout.

The Five Core Components of EQ

According to Goleman (1995), emotional intelligence is built on five interrelated domains. These elements act like the spokes in a wheel; if one is underdeveloped, the entire mechanism wobbles.

1. Self-Awareness

This is the ability to accurately recognise your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behaviour. It’s like a mirror that helps you observe your internal climate.

Just imagine if  there were no flight dashboard that informs the pilots of altitude, direction, and turbulence? It would be a disaster. This is what self-awareness does. It allows individuals to monitor their internal states and navigate emotionally tricky situations.

2. Self-Regulation

Once you’re aware of your emotions, the next step is managing them. Self-regulation means staying in control especially when you're tempted to lash out, shut down, or act impulsively.

Have you seen a group of surgeons panicking and throwing tantrums because they nicked a blood vessel? For professionals, NO! So think of self-regulation like a surgeon during a complicated procedure. Even under intense pressure, they maintain composure and steady hands, ensuring success through calmness and precision.

3. Motivation

This component refers to being driven by internal values and goals rather than external rewards. Emotionally intelligent people tend to be more productive, resilient, and committed.

Ever seen Athletes preparing for a marathon? An elite marathon runner isn’t only chasing medals. They're fuelled by a deeper, intrinsic motivation. The constant training has developed or built their  personal growth, discipline and the motivation to keep breaking barriers.

4. Empathy

Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing. It's foundational for managing relationships, reducing conflict, and leading with compassion.

Analogy (For Diplomats): A successful diplomat must read subtle cues during tense negotiations, adapting their communication to bridge cultural and emotional divides.

5. Social Skills

This includes the ability to communicate clearly, manage disputes, inspire others, and foster strong interpersonal bonds.

Ever wonder how a Kindergaten teacher manages a group of kids from different backgrounds and cultures for 4 - 6 hours 5 days a week? That is a social skill. An effective teacher manages a diverse classroom, reads student emotions, resolves conflicts, and creates an environment where learners feel valued.

Here are Real-Life Applications of Emotional Intelligence Across Professions

1. The MSc Researcher
Imagine a graduate student defending a controversial thesis. High EQ helps them respond to probing questions with calmness, curiosity, and respect, instead of frustration or defensiveness.

2. The Human Resource Manager
An HR professional uses EQ to mediate conflict between departments. Instead of merely citing policies, they listen attentively, validate emotions, and reframe the problem in terms everyone can buy into.

3. The Entrepreneur
An emotionally intelligent entrepreneur can sense market hesitations during a pitch meeting, adjust tone and direction, and make prospective investors feel understood and valued.

4. The Software Developer
Often perceived as a solitary role, developers work in cross-functional teams. Those with high EQ can navigate team dynamics, collaborate on feedback loops, and influence product design by understanding user pain points.

5. The Undergraduate Job-Seeker
During interviews, applicants with high EQ don’t just give memorised answers. They respond with warmth, adapt their tone based on interviewer cues, and leave a positive emotional impression.

EQ vs IQ: A Complementary Dance

It is a mistake to pit emotional intelligence against cognitive intelligence. They are complementary rather than competing faculties. If IQ helps you pass the entrance exam, EQ helps you thrive in the group project. If IQ gets you hired, EQ helps you get promoted.

As Goleman (1998) puts it:

"In a high-IQ job pool, soft skills like discipline, drive, and empathy mark those who emerge as outstanding."

Conclusion

Understanding emotional intelligence is the first step toward personal mastery and social fluency. As we've seen, EQ transcends professions and industries. It allows a surgeon to remain composed, a student to bounce back from failure, and a leader to inspire during uncertainty. While IQ may determine your potential, it is EQ that shapes your reality.

In the posts that follow, we will explore how to develop and apply these emotional skills in daily life—because EQ is not a fixed trait but a learnable and expandable capacity.

Now that you have learned this, here is a fun assessment to help you recall your mastery:

  1. What emotions did you feel most strongly this week? What triggered them?

  2. How do you usually respond when someone criticises your work?

  3. In your most recent group interaction, what emotional signals did you observe in others?

  4. Which of the five components of EQ feels most natural to you? Which is the hardest?


  5. REMEMBER TO SHARE THIS POST IF YOU FOUND IT HELPFUL

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