Tools for Better Communication

 

Tools for Better Communication



Communication is most effective when there is congruence between what we say and what we do. Congruence means our words, tone, and body language all point in the same direction. When these elements do not align, communication becomes misleading, and trust begins to erode.

For example, imagine a manager addressing their team by saying, “I’m really excited about this project.” However, their tone is flat, their shoulders are slouched, and their eyes are fixed on the floor. The words say “excitement,” but the non-verbal signals communicate disinterest or even fear. The team will doubt the sincerity of the message because humans are wired to believe what they see and feel more than what they hear.

Therefore, being intentional, self-aware, and consistent in our communication is vital for conflict management, leadership, and collaboration.

Three Realities of Communication

  1. Much of what we communicate is unconscious
    Many of our gestures, facial expressions, and tones are not deliberately chosen. They flow from our inner state of mind. For instance, during a workplace negotiation, an employee may frown unconsciously when a new policy is announced. Even if they remain silent, others interpret the frown as disapproval.

    • Workplace Example: A team leader may unknowingly interrupt others repeatedly, signalling impatience. This can make colleagues feel undervalued.

    • Community Example: In a town hall meeting, rolling one’s eyes unconsciously while another resident is speaking can ignite unnecessary conflict.

    • Diplomatic Example: A delegate sighing during peace talks may unintentionally signal disrespect or frustration, altering the mood of the negotiations.

    Lesson: Since unconscious communication is powerful, we must learn to manage our body language and tone deliberately.

  1. Much of what we communicate is unintentional
    Sometimes our words or actions send messages we never meant to send. For example, replying late to a colleague’s email may unintentionally signal disinterest or disregard, even if the delay was due to workload.

    • Workplace Example: A supervisor focusing only on errors in a report may unintentionally discourage a junior staff member instead of encouraging improvement.

    • Community Example: In advocacy campaigns, using jargon may unintentionally exclude community members who feel the message is “not for them.”

    • Diplomatic Example: A government official using humour in a tense international meeting may unintentionally offend other parties.

    Lesson: Always be aware that even unintentional signals are interpreted. Clarify when necessary to prevent misunderstanding.

  1. Much of what we communicate is incongruent
    Incongruence happens when there is a mismatch between our words and non-verbal signals. It weakens credibility and breeds mistrust.

    • Workplace Example: A manager assuring employees their jobs are safe, while avoiding eye contact and sounding hesitant, may fuel rumours of layoffs.

    • Community Example: A local leader preaching unity but refusing to meet with opposing groups shows inconsistency.

    • Diplomatic Example: A country pledging commitment to climate change action but continuing to expand coal mining sends an incongruent message.

    Lesson: To build trust, our words, tone, and actions must align consistently.

Tips for Becoming a Good Listener

Good communication is not just about talking—it is about listening actively. Active listening helps resolve conflict because it allows the other person to feel heard, respected, and valued.

Here are key practices for effective listening:

  1. Listen carefully to why the other person is upset
    Do not assume you already know. For example, a colleague may be upset not because of workload, but because they felt excluded from decision-making.

    • Workplace: During a performance review, listen for the emotions behind an employee’s words.

    • Community: When villagers protest a development project, listen for underlying fears (e.g., loss of land).

    • Diplomacy: Peace mediators listen to grievances from all sides, even if they seem repetitive.

  1. Ensure you understand their point of view
    Use clarifying questions to avoid misinterpretation. “Can you explain what you mean by…?” shows respect and prevents assumptions.

  1. Restate their words to confirm understanding
    For example: “So what I hear you saying is that you feel the new policy was rushed without enough consultation—am I right?”
    This confirms accuracy and helps the speaker feel understood.

  1. Ask if anything remains unsaid
    Sometimes the most important points are left unspoken. A pause and a gentle question such as “Is there something else on your mind?” creates space for honesty.

  1. Resist the urge to jump in too early
    Many conflicts worsen because one party interrupts to defend themselves. Give full room for expression before responding.

Practical Listening Responses

  • Encourage sharing
    “I’d like to understand what has upset you.”
    (This opens the door for dialogue.)

  • Clarify
    “Can you say more about that?”
    (This prevents misinterpretation.)

  • Restate
    “It sounds like you weren’t expecting that to happen.”
    (This shows you are tracking the conversation.)

  • Reflect feelings
    “I can imagine how frustrating that must have been.”
    (This validates emotions, not just facts.)

  • Validate
    “I really appreciate that you’re sharing this with me.”
    (This builds trust and encourages openness.)

Why These Tools Matter

When we apply these tools such as congruence, awareness of unconscious/unintentional signals, and active listening, we strengthen our relationships, prevent misunderstandings, and manage conflicts more effectively.

  • In the workplace, these skills help create cohesive teams and reduce disputes.

  • In the community, they make advocacy and mobilisation more inclusive.

  • In diplomatic settings, they help prevent misinterpretations that could escalate into crises.

Ultimately, communication is not only about words but it is about perception, alignment, and trust.

 

📌NOW THAT YOU KNOW BETTER TRY THIS Self-Assessment Exercise

  • Define communication congruence in your own words.

  • Give one workplace, one community, and one diplomatic example of incongruent communication.

  • Practice restating and reflecting feelings in pairs during role-play.

Congratulations!! So far we have we have dealt with the definition of communication and its importance to conflict management. We also considered the following aspects; the role of
perception, the various communication styles, the role of empathy in communication and some tools for better communication.


SUMMARY ASSIGNMENT
· Why is communication important in conflict management
· How do empathy blockers influence Conflict
· Discuss the role of perception in conflict management
· Describe the different communication styles

KEEP ON READING. NEXT - CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

APPROACHES TO CONFLICT MANAGEMENT - 5 strategies for managing conflicts

Image
MANAGING DISAGREEMENTS THROUGH CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES In this post, we expand on the Five Strategies for Managing CONFLICTS in ways that preserve and build relationships. PREVIOUS READ:   SIX GOLDEN RULES OF THE INTEREST-BASED RELATIONAL APPROACH IN CONFLICT MANAGEMENT Disagreements are an inevitable part of professional, academic, and social relationships. However, the way we manage these disagreements determines whether they become destructive confrontations or constructive engagements. This post examines five core strategies for managing stressful situations, focusing on how each can strengthen rather than damage relationships.   1. Problem-Solving (Confrontation Approach) This strategy involves a collaborative process where all parties come together to explore the root causes of the conflict, identify shared interests, generate options, and jointly arrive at the best possible solution. When to Use: When issues are complex, emotions are high, and relationship...
Read more

UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION STYLES FOR CONFLICT MANAGEMENT AND TEAM EFFECTIVENESS

Image
 UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION STYLES Have you ever wondered why some people rub you the wrong way and yet you can’t explain why? Perhaps they didn’t offend you directly, but something about the way they speak or act makes interactions awkward. The truth is: they’re not the problem, your communication styles simply differ . Every individual develops a unique style of communication, influenced by personality, upbringing, work roles, culture, and even profession. Understanding these styles is not just an academic exercise but also a practical necessity for effective communication, conflict resolution, teamwork, and leadership. For communication experts, especially in leadership, PR, media strategy, or community development roles, recognising and adapting to different communication styles is essential for building rapport , managing relationships , and navigating high-stakes environments . Every human being develops a particular style of communication based on personality, upbringing,...
Read more

SAMPLE - Research Report Template (APA 7th Edition – Group Assignment)

SAMPLE - Research Report Template (APA 7th Edition – For Group Assignments) [Insert Group Title] Course: Strategic Communication and Conflict Management Department: Mass Communication Institution: [Insert Institution Name] Group Members: Full Names (include matric numbers) Submission Date: [DD/MM/YYYY] Word Count: [e.g., 2,500 words] I. Abstract (150–200 words) A concise summary of the study background, problem objective, method, major findings and recommendations. II. Introduction (300–400 words) Background of the study Relevance to African or international development Clear statement of the research problem Research questions and objectives Brief mention of selected theory (if applicable) III. Literature Review  (1500–2000 words) Your literature review should help locate your research within existing knowledge. Use the 5Ws and H approach: What has been said in academic or policy literature about this issue? Who are the main actors (e.g., women in politics, ethnic groups,...
Read more