SIX GOLDEN RULES OF THE INTEREST-BASED RELATIONAL APPROACH IN CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

 

Interest-Based Relational (IBR) Approach

Developed to build understanding and preserve relationships, the IBR approach is ideal for workplaces, families, and even political negotiations.


MAKE SURE TO READ THE POST ON Understanding and Applying Conflict Management Styles

The IBR Process has the following Six Golden Rules

  1. Prioritize Good Relationships

    • Make sure that good relationships are the first priority: As far as possible, make sure that you treat the other person calmly and that you try to build mutual respect. Do your best to be courteous to one-another and remain constructive under pressure. Stay calm and respectful, even under pressure.

    • Example: HR addresses a conflict between two employees by setting a friendly, neutral tone before diving into the problem.

  2. Separate People from the Problem

    • Keep people and problems separate: Recognize that in many cases the other person is not just being difficult – real and valid differences can lie behind conflictive positions. By separating the problem from the person, real issues can be debated without damaging working relationships. Focus on the issue, not personalities.

  3. Focus on Interests, Not Positions

    • Pay attention to the interests that are being presented: listening carefully will make you most-likely understand why the person is adopting his or her position. Ask: What’s really important to each person?

  4. Listen First, Then Speak

    • Listen first; talk second: To solve a problem effectively you have to understand where the other person is coming from before defending your own position. Practice active listening. Let them talk.

  5. Establish Facts Together

    • Set out the Facts: Agree and establish the objective, observable elements that will have an impact on the decision. Agree on shared truths to avoid misinformation. Example: A finance team reviews actual budget data to resolve a blame game over overspending.

  6. Explore Options Together

    • Explore options together: Be open to the idea that a third position may exist, and that you can get to this idea jointly. Brainstorm solutions. You may find a third way.

Based on these approaches, a starting point for dealing with conflict is to identify the overriding conflict style employed by yourself, your team or your organization. Over time, people's conflict management styles tend to mesh, and a “right” way to solve conflict emerges. It's good to recognize when this style can be used effectively, however make sure that people understand that different styles may suit different situations.


Now that you have learned this, here is a fun assessment to help you recall your mastery:

You are mediating a conflict between your programs team and a local government official, Madam Bello. The project workplan has allocated 70% of the clean energy awareness budget on digital campaigns (social media, videos, visibility, etc). However, Madam Bello insists on using traditional methods (radio, town halls, flyers). The discussion has escalated with mutual accusations. You are now asked to apply the six IBR rules to manage the conflict and move forward. What would you do? What would you say? What outcome do you expect?


NEXT - READ APPROACHES TO CONFLICT MANAGEMENT AND LEARN THE 5 STRATEGIES


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